Week 4 - Thursday 23rd April

I'm hopeless at remembering dates.  I can remember 4 important ones: My parents birthdays, my other half's birthday and my own.  Facebook saves me, when I check it!  However I have a feeling I may remember this one.

Today is the day the oncologists will have their meeting to look at all my data, and then I'll a meeting to discuss this.

I write these blogs throughout the week, and give it a final edit the evening before it's posted.  I schedule it to post very early on a Thursday morning.  You can also follow this blog for new posts, which I'll explain at the end.  

I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little worried about how this will pan out.  It's cancer.  It doesn't care who I am, what my background is, what race I am or if I'm religious. However, I had some good news on Monday.  My specialist nurse, Maria, phoned me to say the PET-CT scan results were back, and my cancer hasn't spread elsewhere.  I cannot tell you how relieved and happy I was to hear that.  Yes, I still have cancer, and yes I still have the boss fight ahead which isn't going to be a walk in the park.  I'm not under any illusions how serious it still is, but I had to stop myself from continuing to research online about statistics, possibilities, basically I was overthinking everything, something I hadn't done until a few days ago.

"Cancer is when abnormal cells divide in an uncontrolled way."  (Well, I am a bit abnormal - who wants to be "normal" anyway!).  There are more than 200 different types of cancer.  This is the scary statistic:

1 in 2 of us will get cancer in our lifetime.

Let that sink in, 1 in 2 of us.  50% of us.  There's approximately 66 million people in the UK, which is a staggering amount.

I remember seeing an article on the BBC news website about how, as a country, we are performing compared to others. We are improving, however this is very much dictated by where you are, and the waiting list.  It's become apparent, more so under recent events, how much pressure there is on the NHS.  I'm not going to get political, but will end this paragraph in saying that I don't think the care I have received could've got much quicker, given the current circumstances.  Every day is changing, and I feel so proud that our country has this fantastic service.  I've not had to worry about how much any examination or medication is going to cost me.

There's only been a few things that have been asked of me.

Stay safe, stay healthy, eat well, drink plenty and do things you enjoy.  This hasn't been said in a morbid fashion, it's been said to increase my chances of beating this boss!

Some of you may be wondering why I refer to this as a boss fight.  I like to play computer games and I've been lucky enough to have grown up with them.  As a family we weren't wealthy (and that never bothered me).  I, like many of my friends would get hand me downs or we'd find bargain second hand things.  Or if we were really lucky, someone would know someone with a copy of something.  Not that I endorse that sort of behaviour now. I have Xbox Game Pass, Humble Bundles and Steam Sales!  OK, I'm getting off track!

The point I'm making is, I like to play video games, and a lot of them tend to have big baddies you have to beat to win the game.  So I've likened my cancer battle with that.  It's not my way of distancing myself from the reality that's going on with me, but helps me focus on targets, of what part can I play to help beat this.  I also feel it makes it a bit more relatable, especially when a large proportion of my amazingly supportive friends have grown up with video games as well.  Video games have also helped me during this unprecedented time.  The sun is shining, and I would love more than nothing else to drive to the beach, have some fish and chips in the car (because those demon seagulls are thieves!), and a walk on the beach.  It will happen, maybe not as soon as we'd like, but it'll make the days when we can all meet up, that much sweeter (or saltier, by the seaside, beside the sea!)

Thank you to everyone who reads this blog, I hope you find it useful.  I certainly find it helpful to write.  If you have a google account, you can follow this blog by signing in, and then clicking the "follow" button on the left hand side.